Governator Arnold Calls Gateway

One of the first “sound board” crank call recordings to hit the Internets, and probably still the funniest, This mp3 features the unmistakable voice of bodybuilder, action movie star, and former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger calling Gateway Computers for some help.  Gateway should give dear Cassie a medal for her professionalism, as she maintains composure under a barrage of meticulously timed Ah-nold samples from Terminator, Kindergarten Cop, Total Recall and other popcorn flicks. As silly as this is, it’s inspired art! Now stop whining.

Arnold Calls Gateway (play/download mp3)

The Troggs make a bloody Number One!

Ah, the unspeakably funny and cringe-worthy Troggs tape. The gr8est fly on the wall document of a band melting down ever recorded. Often cited as the inspiration behind Spinal Tap, this mp3 oozes absurdity and dysfunction. There’s a fine moment, when you hear the guitar player doing his part, and someone shouts “YEAH!” in the talk-back mic, the guitarist continues playing EXACTLY the same part, and the voice comes in again with “NO!” Shortly thereafter there is a sort of cackle, the unmistakable croak of a grown man cracking. Sickly pleasurable. They may not have gotten their number one out of this, but they sure have entertained millions of people with this unintended meme. For the band that did “Wild Thing,” tis an inglorious end. For the advanced class, try the Infamous Troggs Tapes Megamix.

The Infamous Troggs Tapes (play/download mp3)

The Wonderful, Crazy World of Logan Whitehurst and the Junior Science Club

Logan Whitehurst and The Jr. Science Club – “Farkle New and Improved” mp3

Occupying a unique space of the imagination somewhere between Frank Zappa and Ren n’ Stimpy, a young Logan Whitehurst recorded a wealth of brilliant and unique works in his short but hugely creative life. Before succumbing to a brain tumor at the age of 29, he told his family that playing his music for people was one of the most important things to him. Among his many talents, Logan was also a cartoonist in a style that fits his songwriting humor like a glove. The guy was a treasure. His work lives on. It’s genius in both art and craft, original yet instantly familiar, with a rare levity the world could sure use more of. As such, his music is available for download and streaming from freemusicarchive.org, and this is truly something to celebrate. You can buy the CD’s direct from his site, too. Enjoy.

Schaffer The Darklord ‘splains some things to Your Band

STD” has made a lot of brilliant tracks as a solo artist since fleeing from band life in disgust. I first discovered him when a friend (also in a band, naturally) sent me a link to “Your Band” and commented that she had heard every line in the song uttered in earnest at some point, by band guys at the bar at Bottom Of The Hill (the SF club mentioned in the song, no less). Band shmoozing is a frightful business, and I guess it just ate away at our hero Schaffer until he plopped out this hilarious anti-shmooze screed. Not safe for work, this one. No. Not safe in general. But excellent. I added an “Other” category to my blog categories, just for the great otherness of this. Enjoy.

Schaffer The Darklord – “Your Band” mp3

Buy @ CD Baby

Lord Superior’s superior “White Man Wife”

Lord Superior – “White Man Wife” mp3

This delightful observation of human behavior from “Calypso @ Dirty Jim’s” is either accurate or appalling, depending on your own experience and point of view. I find it hilarious. Plus, the music is outstanding. Sweet horn section work and a swinging riddim section set the stage for certain scandalous behaviors as related by the gr8 Lord Superior. Now behave, and enjoy this comical calypso ditty.

Lord Superior
“White Man Wife” (mp3)
from “Calypso @ Dirty Jim’s”
(Caribbean Music Group)

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A Rondo Bro’s Xmas feat. Motion Man

Rondo Brothers – “Xmas In My House feat Motion Man”

Merry Xmas, kittins. This isn’t exactly your normal Christmas record, but then, you already have plenty of normal Xmas stuff don’t you? Here’s some holiday cheer Rondo Brothers style, with Motion Man’s unique yule observations. Not safe for grandma’s house, maybe. Enjoy.

Various
“Xmas In My House feat. Motion Man” (mp3)
from “This Is Your Brain On Xmas”
(troublewith2 productions, LLC)

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Rob Cantrell, Coffee and Weed Achiever

Rob Cantrell – “Coffee and Weed”

Perhaps you recall the old “Coffee Achievers” advertising campaign, which extolled the virtues of caffeine as a means of excelling and reaching your goals? Rob Cantrell has a jingle of sorts for the new breed: the Coffee and Weed Achiever. Twitching and nodding between gr8 spasms of productivity, extended bouts of staring into space, and sudden, maniacal snacking, the Coffee and Weed Achiever is an unpredictable yet generally friendly creature so long as the crucial balance is maintained between the myriad active ingredients coursing through its veins. Hey, this is fairly benign compared to most drug cocktails, but they don’t call it a hippie speedball for nothing. Approach with caution. MP3 and link to buy the whole CD from this raving nutter, plus a vidi, all below. Hours of fun. Wait, what was I doing? Oh yeah.. Publish!

Rob Cantrell
“Coffee and Weed” (mp3)
from “Keep on the Grass”
(Stellah Records)

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Ryan Adams Rant Redux

Ryan Adams calls Jim DeRogatis Answering Machine

Ryan Adams now legendary meltdown on Jim DeRogatis‘ answering machine made the rounds back in ’04 and soon became immortalized on the Interwebs. Utterly hilarious, or unbearable depending on your perspective, this is what happens when an artist gets one too many personal insults from a critic, throws decorum to the wind and fires back. Little could Adams know that his rant would soon be downloaded millions of times and take on a momentum of its own.  I happen to like Ryan Adams’ music a lot, but I think I’d be down with this even if I thought it was shite! Little lite humor for your holiday fun =)